College Essay Consultation 2nd meeting

So for those of you who read my post describing the first consultation with my sister, you know that it went very well and that we focused most of our time on generating and brainstorming ideas. For those of you who didn't, now you know lol. The second go around was very rewarding; I don't get to work with my sister a lot anymore on her schoolwork with me being away at college, so it was fun to be able to help her out. She had written a very impressive draft in which she used her personal experiences to create a very entertaining and powerful narrative. I thought it gave a good insight into her life and character, while successfully communicating her ability to write. We discussed a few grammar issues that she seemed to repeat a few times and went over some of her awkward word choices. I asked her what she wanted her story to convey and following her answer we brainstormed ways to better illustrate what she hoped was the moral of the narrative. One idea was to end it with a paragraph that breaks away from the story a little and gives that sort of "so what' factor that is so important in writing. To be honest, there was not a terrible amount that needed to be improved, but the discussion really seemed to facilitate some new ideas that she was excited to implement into her story. I'm thankful that this class gave me the opportunity to work with my sister, which I probably would not have done otherwise.